I think if you can write a play, or produce a play, the first step toward success [is] if people don't want to kill themselves in the lobby. Now there must be four or five other steps, but that's the first.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

I thought we talked things out!' 'Yes, and you listened very carefully to every word you had to say.

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.

I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.

While in some quarters it is felt that the critic is just a necessary evil, most serious-minded, decent, talented theater people agree that the critic is an unnecessary evil.