I think if you can write a play, or produce a play, the first step toward success [is] if people don't want to kill themselves in the lobby. Now there must be four or five other steps, but that's the first.

It has been explained to me that toys are packaged in shards, to be assembled by the middle-aged and butter-fingered, because this makes it easier for the shippers. ... If they had to spend hours and hours putting handlebars onto bicycles ... they would repent their ways and deliver something that looked like a rocking horse and not like the result of a small street accident.

You can't sleep until noon with the proper elan unless you have some legitimate reason for staying up until three (parties don't count).

I thought we talked things out!' 'Yes, and you listened very carefully to every word you had to say.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

Real men don't do pickup lines just to sweep off every girls' feet. They do and trust their own instincts knowing what the girls' wants and needs. Vying to win their hearts.

Movie actors are just ordinary, mixed-up people - with agents.