You can't sleep until noon with the proper elan unless you have some legitimate reason for staying up until three (parties don't count).

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.

I'm not so sure it's so civilized to be civilized all the time.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?