You can't sleep until noon with the proper elan unless you have some legitimate reason for staying up until three (parties don't count).

While in some quarters it is felt that the critic is just a necessary evil, most serious-minded, decent, talented theater people agree that the critic is an unnecessary evil.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.