I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.

An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

Being on a ship is something like being pregnant. You can sit there and do absolutely nothing but stare at the water and have the nicest sense that you are accomplishing something.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.