Dear Aunt Loretta, Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the pants look on my legs! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Greg

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

hay he's a great writer and i like him a lot

The best person I know is Myself.

I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born.

fish and visitors stink in 3 days.

I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.