First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it.

The best person I know is Myself.

Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says people need to shave twice a day.

I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley.

Monkeys can't talk, stupid!

See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

I only work on my books at nights and at weekends. It is really just like a hobby.