When you're used to having electricity and then all of a sudden it's taken away, you're basically just one step from being a wild animal.

hope your birthday is hot hot hot

If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

Dear Aunt Loretta, Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the pants look on my legs! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Greg

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.

Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says people need to shave twice a day.

hot pink looks cute on only janet which is MEEEEEEE!!!