It really bothers me when some people say that all cops are racist. Of course that's not true. Most of you are just [expletive] to everybody.

Instead of running for President, why don’t you try walking on a treadmill?

I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes.

The real question is how do you stay funny in your 70s and 80s? And that's a real accomplishment, you know, the longevity.

As soon as you start analyzing comedy is when the world starts to fall apart, and we're second guessing it. And we are way too sensitive.

Maybe I'm corny, but I'm a big believer in second chances.

When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That's a fact.