In terms of what happened to Amy [Schumer], if that happened to me I would be like, "Yes, please leave." But I toured a lot. I started as an opening feature act touring a lot during the [George W.] Bush years, like around 2007. I was touring during the [Barack] Obama election - the first one with [Sarah] Palin and [John] McCain - and I talked to crowds about that and they were always split down the middle.

I stay on [Twitter] as Jen Kirkman, a person. It's just a way for me to connect with what I know and read everything and catch all areas.

I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, "It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy." We didn't even believe it. We were like, "Well, that's weird."

At first, there was a separation of clubs and sketch comedy. Now there's all kinds of comedy, making us one big happy family.

I find it actually the height of romance to legally bind yourself to someone because you're really taking care of someone, and letting them take care of you. I actually have no cynicism about that.

I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me.

I'm still hibernating so I get really frustrated with other people's goals and just stop.