If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I would do.

I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check and I get the daily update.

I log out of Twitter on my computer so I have to log in and then I log back out.

I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, "It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy." We didn't even believe it. We were like, "Well, that's weird."

I think people with anxiety do different things during different years, and for me, I waded through my anxiety during the last two years with men, and flirting, and dating, and this thing and that thing, and so that's going to stop, and that has stopped.

I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.

My mother was like, "What did they teach you?", and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.