If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I would do.

There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.

I don't like to joke about dating.

That's the same thing that is making me like George W. Bush. "He was nice. I know he was nice. He didn't know what he was doing but he was nice."

I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.

I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me.

Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.