I made a career goals list for 2017 and it's so funny. I have low self-esteem or something, so I put both wishes and goals. The goals were things I'm going to do anyway, because I have no choice because my job is to do stand-up comedy so I have to tour and I have to write stuff. The wishes were all things that could be goals. As in, I bet people who have achieved these things called them goals at one point. But I haven't looked at that piece of paper since.

Not everyone is there to get an abortion. Your body is like a car that has needs and women's bodies constantly need a level of care that men don't.

I want to be one of those cool people that's like, "What is Twitter?" and just be totally blind to it.

I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.

[Twitter] is not totally where I go anymore to sell myself as a concept, as a comedian, because it moves too fast.

Let's say I was like, "I'm going to write a book this year," which I'm not. Let's just say that was it. Then it would be for the joy of writing it. It wouldn't be like, "And it's going to be No. 1 and I'm going to get rich and go on a book tour and own a library." I don't know the difference between doing what I normally do and making a resolution. And if it doesn't happen, then I'm going to be miserable.

I try to minimize the noise, and I don't use Facebook except for my fan page, and I don't look at anything. It's getting a lot easier.