When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?

This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants and unexpectedly get my period.

Over the summer we chatted one night while Angie stripped a bed, changed wet sheets, comforted and repajamaed a toddler, and chased down a car of speeding teenagers while shaking a brick at them, never once interrupting the conversation or setting down her margarita. The only reason this woman isn't president of General Motors is because she's chosen not to be.

I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air

You think you're so cool just because you can walk!

I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.

I've determined the ideal job for me is one where I can write clever essays about my life and my employer will give me enough money not only to live a comfortable existence, but also to buy many, many new pairs of shoes.