I believe that I have such a vanilla life.

Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.

Writing is something that I've always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader.

I've always been able to cook Italian food. That's in my blood because I'm half Sicilian.

Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.

I've determined the ideal job for me is one where I can write clever essays about my life and my employer will give me enough money not only to live a comfortable existence, but also to buy many, many new pairs of shoes.

I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air