Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.

No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning.

Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.

I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books by other authors.

Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time while you sit in a vibrating chair. I call it the sorority girls version of a threesome.

Seriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment, etc. I doubt we'll ever come to terms on tastes great or less filling and hybrids versus Hummers, and there will always be Yankees fans and Red Sox fans, and never the 'twain shall meet. Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.

For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased.