You've already got a natural glow, kind of of, cuz you're drunk, so just make it like way more intense, everybody loves someone who's so red in the face. Are you embarrassed? No, I'm just excited to be here. I'm normal, I swear. Do you want my phone number?

As weird and awful and terrible as it may seem to be yourself sometimes, it will always reward you.

So you don't have time for concealer, you have time for powder for when you start crying later about how some boy doesn't like you.

Make your face not look like your face by piling on like the heaviest makeup you can find and do it with some kind of brush that won't judge you.

If you can't move your brush good, just move your face.

I don't recommend washing your face. Because you might drown.

One of the benefits of being you is: You know that the people who love you, love you for you. They don't love you for who they think you are or who you're pretending to be.