You've already got a natural glow, kind of of, cuz you're drunk, so just make it like way more intense, everybody loves someone who's so red in the face. Are you embarrassed? No, I'm just excited to be here. I'm normal, I swear. Do you want my phone number?

Make it look like your skin is not so angry at you for your bad life choices.

The single greatest gift you could ever give the world is to be exactly who you are.

Make your face not look like your face by piling on like the heaviest makeup you can find and do it with some kind of brush that won't judge you.

I don't recommend washing your face. Because you might drown.

If you want to be like someone, there's nothing stopping you from modeling yourself after someone else. You don't have to BE them - that's not your job in life. Your job in life is not to be someone else. You just want to be as good at being you as that person is at being them.

So you don't have time for concealer, you have time for powder for when you start crying later about how some boy doesn't like you.