You've already got a natural glow, kind of of, cuz you're drunk, so just make it like way more intense, everybody loves someone who's so red in the face. Are you embarrassed? No, I'm just excited to be here. I'm normal, I swear. Do you want my phone number?

If you can't move your brush good, just move your face.

When I'm feeling sad, or lonely, and I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know where I'm going, I imagine the Cool Awesome Future Version of Myself just telling my present self, "It's okay. You just gotta grab that giraffe by the ears and ride it on out."

You've already got a natural glow, kind of of, cuz you're drunk, so just make it like way more intense, everybody loves someone who's so red in the face. Are you embarrassed? No, I'm just excited to be here. I'm normal, I swear. Do you want my phone number?

Don't ever, ever, ever give up, because you're here for a reason, even if it's just to laugh at cats on the internet.

Here's a helpful life tip. Stand by things that are white cuz it makes you look less white.

There’s no cure for ugly, but you can make yourself into a human optical illusion.