For me, being a woman suits what I want to talk about and what my audience wants to hear. Maybe I'm a dying breed.

I've got this horrible feeling that I'm one of those people who'll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere.

I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don't like vulgar displays of ostentation.

Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.

I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards.

The comedy I like the best is comedy I can't do, stuff that doesn't touch my arena.

I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.