The only way to go on holiday is with your expectations at ground level. Convince yourself before you go that the weather's going to be dreadful and there will be nylon sheets. You'll then be pleasantly surprised.

The comedy I like the best is comedy I can't do, stuff that doesn't touch my arena.

My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and still are.

I don't think I'm successful.

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

I've got a hat face. My mother always said I've got a hat face

There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you've had a poor breakfast in a hotel, you should put your knife and fork down and boo.