I still can't set up the ironing-board. A complete Luddite.

I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It's because I'm freelance, and I've never had a proper job. I don't have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me.

I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and still are.

My older sister is bossy, my brother is a stirrer and me - well, I am perfect!

I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.