I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice.

I know the new comedy god is surrealism, but it doesn't touch my heart.

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.

I prefer highs and lows to an even keel. Moderation is never something I've been good at.

I have always had a need for attention but didn't plan to be a comic.

I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It's because I'm freelance, and I've never had a proper job. I don't have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me.

I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.