I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don't like vulgar displays of ostentation.

I prefer highs and lows to an even keel. Moderation is never something I've been good at.

I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice.

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

I think as time goes by you'll get female comics who are weirder - you'll get a female Mighty Boosh.

I still can't set up the ironing-board. A complete Luddite.

Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.