I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.

My epiglottis is full of bees!

There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on.

Ambition is a very dangerous thing because either you achieve it and your life ends prematurely, or you don't, in which case your life is a constant source of disappointment. You must never have ambition.

Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

If I like somebody else's tribe I'm going to promote the hell out of it. The whole thing is a democracy, and if somebody's more popular then good luck to them.