I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.

It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.

No, no, no. There's no such thing as cheap and cheerful. It's cheap and nasty & expensive and cheerful.

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.”

That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler