If you just took everyone in the BNP and everyone who votes for them and shot them in the back of the head, there would be a brighter future for us all.

If you just took everyone in the BNP and everyone who votes for them and shot them in the back of the head, there would be a brighter future for us all.

Capitalism is a great idea in theory, but in practice it just doesn't work.

All socialists have bad backs because we slouch - except when we're watching the news when we sit on the edge of our seats, shout, and wave our arms. Generally we sit hunched, arms crossed in a judgemental way, the whole of our bodies pulled into a frown.

The only way you can ever accuse a Conservative of hypocrisy is if they walk past a homeless person without kicking him in the face.

Northern Ireland is part of Ireland, not Britain, as can clearly be seen from aerial photographs.

You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.