The only way you can ever accuse a Conservative of hypocrisy is if they walk past a homeless person without kicking him in the face.

Capitalism is a great idea in theory, but in practice it just doesn't work.

It seems a shallow observation, but... the Tory Conference are not an attractive lot, are they? I mean, if all those people were born in the same village, you'd blame pollution, wouldn't you?

Northern Ireland is part of Ireland, not Britain, as can clearly be seen from aerial photographs.

My daughter wanted a new pair of trainers. I told her You're eleven, make your own!

You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.

Most harm is done by people who are awake.