My daughter wanted a new pair of trainers. I told her You're eleven, make your own!

You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.

Most harm is done by people who are awake.

The need to compile lists is a personality disorder, as is the need to assert the superiority of some things over other things.

If you just took everyone in the BNP and everyone who votes for them and shot them in the back of the head, there would be a brighter future for us all.

Why don't people just accept that life is sad and cheer up? After all, it's not going to last for ever.

Northern Ireland is part of Ireland, not Britain, as can clearly be seen from aerial photographs.