The Afghan War has clearly reached a stage similar to that moment at your child's party where you realise you've forgotten to give the other parents a pick up time.

The only way you can ever accuse a Conservative of hypocrisy is if they walk past a homeless person without kicking him in the face.

Why don't people just accept that life is sad and cheer up? After all, it's not going to last for ever.

Northern Ireland is part of Ireland, not Britain, as can clearly be seen from aerial photographs.

The Afghan War has clearly reached a stage similar to that moment at your child's party where you realise you've forgotten to give the other parents a pick up time.

You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.

All socialists have bad backs because we slouch - except when we're watching the news when we sit on the edge of our seats, shout, and wave our arms. Generally we sit hunched, arms crossed in a judgemental way, the whole of our bodies pulled into a frown.