My daughter wanted a new pair of trainers. I told her You're eleven, make your own!
Most harm is done by people who are awake.
Marriage is like the witness protection programme: you get all new clothes, you live in the suburbs, and you're not allowed to see your friends anymore.
You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.
Capitalism is a great idea in theory, but in practice it just doesn't work.
It seems a shallow observation, but... the Tory Conference are not an attractive lot, are they? I mean, if all those people were born in the same village, you'd blame pollution, wouldn't you?