Paul Bearer is so fat, he has his own gravitational pull!

Sunny didn't make a fool out of Phineas, God beat her to that.

We just did a show in Providence, Rhode Island, and we got three puppy shots before we even got on the air, which was great. Although sometimes you get flashed by some puppies that you'd rather not see. They're more like mongrels

Is he dancing or having a seizure?

You know how I impress girls at the gym? I do pull ups: I pull up in a Corvette, in a Cadillac, and in a Mercedes.

Hey Mark Henry, where are your gold medals? We all know that if Mark Henry won a gold medal he'd just take it and have it bronzed.

When John Cena came to Raw, he immediately got off on the wrong foot with Eric Bischoff. Eric Bischoff said that he thought John Cena was a would be Eminem, and Lord knows one Eminem is enough, but since that time, I have come to respect and really like this kid. This John Cena is a good guy. You can't say anything differently than that.