It'll keep you alive for another 10 years if you get yourself a laugh once a day: either provoke it, or look around in the wildest laboratory in the world, the public.

Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.

If you think childlike, you'll stay young. If you keep your energy going, and do everything with a little flair, you're gunna stay young. But most people do things without energy, and they atrophy their mind as well as their body. You have to think young, you have to laugh a lot, and you have to have good feelings for everyone in the world, because if you don't, it's going to come inside, your own poison, and it's over.

When I would be myself, I was being big-headed. I was being egotistical. I was a megalomaniac, when it really was just having not to be a monkey for a few hours a day. And fulfilling the need to be a man.

You may catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but you'll get them to work harder if you use a flyswatter.

I've had great success being a total idiot.

(The Nutty Professor) was a labor of love. It was a total film. It was the most productive, creative work of my life.