What dark corner of the soul did you crawl out of?

Buddy of mine once told me that he'd rather fly a jet than kiss his girl. Said it gave him more of a kick.

There's no better feeling than making your little girls laugh.

I don’t want to react because I don’t want them to know it’s a bad word, but I want to encourage them to talk so I’m like, ‘That’s good!’

To play a lawyer and have one year of law school under your belt, you sort of know what you're talking about! I'm able to memorize the legal courtroom stuff a lot faster than I would have been able to otherwise.

I think of myself as a funny guy but nobody thinks I'm funnier than my daughters.

I think it's chauvinistic to think that women don't like to get scared.