If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Jerry SeinfeldIt reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.
Jerry SeinfeldI wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to I could just go, "Excuse me, I'm not here right now, If you just leave a message, I can walk away."
Jerry SeinfeldI like any cereal. I like the idea of just eating and drinking with one hand without looking.
Jerry SeinfeldTwitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
Jerry SeinfeldSometimes you can do certain things on stage, or even in a TV series, and people see the look on your face and they know what you mean, so you can get away with certain things. But if you can't create that look on an animated character, which is essentially a puppet, the line will hit the audience in a very bad way.
Jerry Seinfeld