I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance was spelled in reverse print on the hood of the ambulance. And I thought, Well, isn't that clever. I look in the rear-view mirror; I can read the word ambulance behind me. Of course while you're reading, you don't see where you're going, you crash. You need an ambulance. I think they're trying to drum up some business on the way back from lunch.

If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.

There is no more embarrassing thing in my life than the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, 'I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.'

Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it's a relic.

I love energy. I love it. And I pursue it, and I want more of it. Physical and mental energy, to me, are the greatest riches of human life. And TM is like a free account of an endless amount of it.

The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.

People don't just bump into each other and have sex. This isn't Cinemax.