You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. "There's a quarter...."

And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.

When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.

Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.

Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.

There is no more embarrassing thing in my life than the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, 'I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.'

I think vacations are mostly completely stupid. Going to have coffee with a friend, you're probably going to have more fun than if you go to Aruba.