There's a tremendous power and energy in sharing your life with another person.

All magic is 'Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over.'

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.