Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.

Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?

The only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a chance to do what they do.

I love the day date. No wine, no shower.

That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill.

You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.

I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.