The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.

I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.

Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.

You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Men want to make women happy.