The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.

Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964.

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

I like any cereal. I like the idea of just eating and drinking with one hand without looking.

There are many things you can point to as proof that the human is not smart. But my personal favorite would have to be that we needed to invent the helmet. What was happening, apparently, was that we were involved in a lot of activities that were cracking our heads. We chose not to avoid doing those activities but, instead, to come up with some sort of device to help us enjoy our head-cracking lifestyles.

If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.

When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.