The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
Jerry SeinfeldEverybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964.
Jerry SeinfeldEver noticed that no matter what happens in one day, it exactly fits in the newspaper?
Jerry SeinfeldWell, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.
Jerry Seinfeld