Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.

See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.

What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.

Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?

You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. "There's a quarter...."