One day I was watching these construction workers go back to work. I was watching them kind of trudging down the street. It was like a revelation to me. I realized these guys don’t want to go back to work after lunch. But they’re going. That’s their job. If they can exhibit that level of dedication for that job I should be able to do the same. Trudge your ass in.

A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.

Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on 'How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?

What causes homophobia? What is it that makes the heterosexual man worry about this? I think it's because deep down all men know that we have weak sales resistance. We're constantly buying shoes that hurt us, pants that don't fit right. Men think, 'Obviously I can be talked into anything. What if I accidentally wander into some sort of homosexual store thinking it's a shoe store and the salesmen says, 'Just hold this guy's hand, walk around a little bit, see how it feels. No obligation, no pressure, just try it.'

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?