Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
Jerry SeinfeldSee, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.
Jerry SeinfeldI was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance was spelled in reverse print on the hood of the ambulance. And I thought, Well, isn't that clever. I look in the rear-view mirror; I can read the word ambulance behind me. Of course while you're reading, you don't see where you're going, you crash. You need an ambulance. I think they're trying to drum up some business on the way back from lunch.
Jerry Seinfeld