People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.

Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it.... I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.

I love being a dad. I just love it.

I am speechless: I have no speech

A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.