Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.

I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.

But I don't want to be a pirate!

They seal the subway change-booth guy up inside this thing with bullet-proof glass, closed in on all sides, it's like some kind of Houdini torture tank of doom. How do you breathe in there? It looks like if you put your hand over the change slot, you could suffocate him in thirty seconds.

If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?