Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.

I love energy. I love it. And I pursue it, and I want more of it. Physical and mental energy, to me, are the greatest riches of human life. And TM is like a free account of an endless amount of it.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.

The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.

Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for ‘Get Out, Leave Family.’

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.