After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.

So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: "What is this? What did you say?" "What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy?" "Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!"

I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.

If people would only look to the cookie, all our problems would be solved.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.

I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.