There is no more embarrassing thing in my life than the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, 'I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.'
Jerry SeinfeldYou know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each.
Jerry SeinfeldIf airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Jerry SeinfeldOne day I was watching these construction workers go back to work. I was watching them kind of trudging down the street. It was like a revelation to me. I realized these guys donโt want to go back to work after lunch. But theyโre going. Thatโs their job. If they can exhibit that level of dedication for that job I should be able to do the same. Trudge your ass in.
Jerry Seinfeld