There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

One day I was watching these construction workers go back to work. I was watching them kind of trudging down the street. It was like a revelation to me. I realized these guys don’t want to go back to work after lunch. But they’re going. That’s their job. If they can exhibit that level of dedication for that job I should be able to do the same. Trudge your ass in.

If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight?

Ever noticed that no matter what happens in one day, it exactly fits in the newspaper?

Sometimes I think more creativity is put into muffin recipes than into the rest of society combined.

I only do a show when there's somebody I want to talk to.

Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on 'How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?