According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Have you ever seen that guy who has the record for fattest man in the world? Bob Hughes, the fattest man in the world... 1400 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, the man has let himself go.

When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.

I've compiled a book from the Internet. It's a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people.

And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.

Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.

Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?