Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I can't eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time.

It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.

I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.

There is nothing more rewarding than completing a goal you have set for yourself.

Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.