Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

I have a friend who's collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He's down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.

We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.

On the side of box of my superman costume it actually said - 'Do not attempt to fly!'

I love meeting Israeli people. They look at me like a son