The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire

Having done quite a bit with studios and networks, I thought if I'm going to do something new and unformed, it would be fun to do it in a completely new space and place. The space being the Internet and the place being Crackle.

I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.

I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.

Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.