The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.

No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.

I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!

Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.

Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."