The only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a chance to do what they do.

Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.

Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.

Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.

I've been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It's just something I'm very aware of.

You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. "There's a quarter...."

You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each.