Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.

I've been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It's just something I'm very aware of.

Why would anybody want a friend?

The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.

There are many things you can point to as proof that the human is not smart. But my personal favorite would have to be that we needed to invent the helmet. What was happening, apparently, was that we were involved in a lot of activities that were cracking our heads. We chose not to avoid doing those activities but, instead, to come up with some sort of device to help us enjoy our head-cracking lifestyles.

I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.