That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.

I only do a show when there's somebody I want to talk to.

The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.

Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.

Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.

I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.

We know the product is going to stink. We know that because we live in the world, and we know that everything stinks. We all believe, Hey, maybe this one wont stink. We are a hopeful species. Stupid but hopeful. But were happy in that moment between the commercial and the purchase. And I think spending your life trying to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items and services is an excellent use of your energy.