A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.

Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on 'How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?

Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."

I like definitive things.

You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the city.

If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?