A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Success is the enemy of comedy.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.

You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day

I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.

Pay attention; don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.