A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.

I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup?

Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.

A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

There's nothing more fun than entertaining kids.